Navigating your racial identity as a multiracial person is a deeply individual, intimate, and complex journey. Many multiracial, Mixed-race, or biracial people grapple with questions about their sense of self, how they fit into the world, and how to reconcile different parts of heritage. You might have experienced moments of confusion or frustration about how to define yourself, or felt the pressure to align more closely with one part of your background over another. These experiences are incredibly common and reflect broader challenges faced by so many who navigate a Mixed racial identity.
In my therapy with Mixed-race adults, I often see clients wrestling with these issues and also experiencing significant growth as they work through multiracial identity development. Here I’ll go over some of the frequent things multiracial folks go through across the stages of their racial identity development–a big topic in some academic circles. I’ll also go over how you can navigate this journey with greater ease, self-compassion, and understanding.
1. Personal Identity: Early Self-Concept
In the early years, your sense of self is often shaped more by personal experiences than by external racial or ethnic categories. You might find yourself simply enjoying activities with friends or family without much thought to how your racial background influences your identity. For example, as a child you may have focused on playing soccer with friends rather than thinking about your differing racial backgrounds. At this stage, your awareness is still developing of outside forces like others’ perceptions, racism, or xenophobia.
2. Choice of Group Characterization: Navigating External Pressures
As you grow older, societal pressures and personal experiences push you to make decisions about how you identify racially. This happens as you’re exposed to others’ attempts to place you in the racial hierarchy. You might face questions from other kids or family members that encourage you to align more strongly with one part of your heritage. You also might feel pressure to emphasize one parent’s cultural background over the other’s, due to how you’re perceived or treated in different settings.
Anti-Blackness, racism, and other powerful prejudices can play a big role here. You might feel compelled to downplay or hide your more stigmatized heritage to fit in, while emphasizing another part of your identity that feels safer or more accepted.
As you continue to sit with these experiences, you might start to feel confusion or guilt about not fully engaging with all aspects of your heritage. This can lead to anger, shame, and feeling encouraged to explore parts of your identity that you previously avoided.
You may become more aware of how social forces have challenged your sense of belonging through stereotypes or discrimination. You might realize how an implied connection between being Asian and being uncool, nerdy, or undesirable pushed you to hide your South Asian culture. At the same time, you might feel conflicted about not engaging enough with your Black heritage, for instance, and start immersing yourself in Black cultural events.
This stage involves a period of self-reflection and addressing internal conflicts about your Mixed-race identity, as it’s been compounded by the societal pressures and prejudices you face. I often see multiracial folks enter therapy around this point, when confusion and a desire to understand push to the forefront.
4. Appreciation: Valuing a Broader Identity
As you continue to grow, you’ll likely start to more deeply appreciate the richness of your Mixed heritage. While you might still feel a stronger connection to one part of your identity, you’ll begin to recognize and value the diversity within your background. Societal attitudes will still play a role, but growing self-acceptance helps ease the impact of any outside pressures. You might engage in cultural practices from all sides of your family, honoring both Juneteenth and Central American Independence Day, and find pride in the unique blend of your heritage. This appreciation allows you to celebrate and integrate the various aspects of your identity–your self–more fully.
Moving from Enmeshment/Denial to Appreciation
Transitioning from the previous stage of enmeshment/denial to appreciation can be challenging, but several practices can help facilitate this shift:
Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your feelings and experiences. Journaling or deep personal reflection can help you understand the roots of your internal conflicts. Consider these prompts:
What parts of your heritage have you struggled with more than others? What parts are easier to embrace or take pride in?
What feedback or prejudice have you faced related to your different cultural identities?
How have societal influences, like racism, colorism, Orientalism, or xenophobia influenced your view of your racial identity?
In what ways have you felt connected to or disconnected from different aspects of your heritage?
Are there any parts of your parents’ cultures that have been left behind for you? Why is that?
What aspects of your cultural background do you appreciate most now? How has your perspective changed over time?
Cultural Engagement: Actively participate in cultural activities from all sides of your heritage. Revel in the lion dance at the nearby Lunar New Year celebration and also brush up on your heritage language. This engagement can help you connect more deeply with your background and see the richness its complexity brings to your life.
Support Systems: Seek support from friends, family, or community groups who acknowledge and respect your multicultural identity. Having a supportive network can help you feel validated and encourage you to embrace all parts of yourself.
Therapy: Working with a multiracial therapist who specializes in racial identity can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, experience deep validation, and develop strategies for integrating your racial backgrounds. Therapy can offer guidance and support as you learn to embrace who you are, while helping you address the impacts of societal pressures throughout life.
5. Integration: Embracing Your Full Identity
Having moved through the challenges of multiracial identity, you can come to fully embrace and appreciate all parts of your racial, ethnic, and cultural background. You’ll recognize how your diverse experiences contribute to who you are and how you relate to the world, maybe emphasizing one heritage or maybe forming a blend of all of them.
Finally you might feel a sense of confidence in your Mixed-race identity, drawing from all your cultural influences to build meaningful relationships and promote genuine inclusivity. Your identity will become a harmonious blend of your various cultural experiences, enriching your sense of yourself. While you may move in and out of this growth stage, gradually this integration becomes confidently grounded and stable.
Navigating Your Journey
Understanding your racial identity is an evolving and personal process. Each stage reflects different experiences and challenges, and your path probably won’t follow a straight line. Embrace the journey with self-compassion and openness.
If you find navigating Mixed-race identity challenging, therapy can provide valuable support. Working with a multiracial therapist can help you explore these aspects of your identity in a nurturing environment, ultimately leading to a deeper sense of self-acceptance and fulfillment. Reach out if you could benefit from individual therapy or group therapy for multiracial adults.
Miranda Nadeau, Ph.D. (she/her) is a deeply engaged counseling psychologist. She is passionate about helping high-achieving queer & trans folks, multiracial adults, and third culture kids craft a life worth celebrating. Contact Panorama Therapy to work with her in individual, relationship, or group therapy .
Miranda Nadeau, Ph.D.(https://www.panorama-therapy.com/)